March 19, 2012
Time to get on a track. Wish I could say “back on track” but sadly, I don’t really know the last time I was actually “on track”!
Today was a great day. I love when at 3:00 your coworkers take a breath and say “Well, today was surprisingly a productive and easy day for a Monday after Spring Break!” And yes, it was! Although...let’s knock on wood. We still have 4 more days in the school week! In addition to a great day at work, I went to bootcamp. It wasn’t even a question to not attend...that’s a first! And although it was incredibly challenging for me, I just repeated in my head “I don’t have to enjoy this, I just have to do it”. Surprisingly, reminding myself of that helps a lot. Well, that and my co-workers’ support. They are great and encourage me to keep pushing myself. I was in such a great mood when I got home, that I decided to take my dog for a walk, and actually did a 30-minute 5K training workout. My evening was made even more enjoyable with an excellent meal, a delightful glass of wine, and a soulful conversation with a dear friend. So the two of us ended our evening of text-talking with a commitment of personal goals for the week and a promise of accountability to each other. For once I feel like I have set achievable health goals and am excited to attack them.
I decided to take a bath, an enjoyment I haven’t allowed myself in a while. I tend to have too many thoughts during that time, and let’s be honest, lately I’ve been trying to avoid all of my thoughts. On a less positive note, I came to admit that I have serious trust issues, mainly with God. Although this is actually a realization that makes me feel very sad and empty, it was truly a wonderful revelation and raw moment of honesty to myself. I feel like I now have a starting point for me in my search to find a track to get on. Wish me luck and let’s pray for strength. Does the journey ever get easy?